It's like Sex and the Suburbs and 30 Rock all rolled into one…
I’m going to be completely honest here: I lived through the ’90s and they were pretty awesome. To be more specific, I was old enough to experience the full spectrum of how great the 1990’s really were – from The Pixies and grunge to an unprecedented time of technological revolution, peace and prosperity that can only come from a Democratic president. The last decade of the last century was brilliant – jeans with different rises and different leg openings burst into the market making a pair of denim blues an option for all girls. Black became cool to wear – you could be a beat or a goth. Shoes with clunky, comfortable and safe heels were mandatory. We had shrugged the oppressive liquid tight technocolor stiletto world of the ’80s for a more lived in and comfortable existence. Casual elegance became a very popular thing. Coffee, not cocaine, became culture.
Perhaps the recent recession has us wishing for better times. Rather than reaching back to the 1950’s – because really Betsy Johnson has that in the bag – fashion retailers are pondering a yesteryear more current in our minds.
It’s plaid. A lot of plaid. And slouchy boyfriend jeans. Hipsters are trading their converse all-star high tops for vans. Skirts are getting shrunken. The short sleeve cardigan has returned, and not just for moms and women who don’t care that a short sleeved sweater is an oxymoron. The ditzy florals I wore in my freshman year of high school are now out in full force at Forever 21 and H&M. The dread flare jean has returned, hung proudly right next to the best skinnies you’ll ever buy at Express. Next you know, we’ll be wearing high-rise black minis, clunky heel square toe ankle boots and white short sleeved sweaters with choker necklaces. Oh God, we’ll look like a Buffy: The Vampire Slayer rerun marathon.
I for one will not feed into this nostalgia. First, flared jeans make me look squat and chunky. I’m a woman with small ankles, and broad hips. I do not need to add extra inches of fabric to any part of my body. Second, I don’t want to re-live high school. They were not my glory days. I was the awkward girl who played D&D in whatever her parents bought her, usually under the stair well of a corridor in school with nothing but great, but geeky guys. Sure, I might buy a plaid wool shirt, something fitted to pair with dark skinnies and a pair of cowboy boots, but you won’t see me rocking any plaid smock dresses.Do yourself a favor – if you have any nostalgia for the last great decade of the last great century, just vote democrat. Don’t wear plaid on plaid. Listen to Nirvana and Pearl Jam, don’t try to find an ironically not vintage Green Day t-shirt. Dookie was a great album, but you don’t need to wear shit on your shirt.