It's like Sex and the Suburbs and 30 Rock all rolled into one…
1. Leggings should be worn as pants, but only if the shirt comes past the waist and covers the majority of the tushie and the entirety of the crotch. Leggings should be tucked into fabulous slouch boots or fantastic riding boots. Leggings should not be sheer by any standards; no cellulite please.
2. Every woman should own at least one red dress. A red dress is sexy enough, so it shouldn’t be too tight, too revealing or remind anyone of a Vegas showgirl or street walker. Owning two is even better. I own a strapless tea-length dress that I often belt. It’s form fitting on top, and yet has a nice and complimentary a-line bottom. I also own a vintage dress that comes to my ankle and has tiny white buttons up the side. A dress in rouge gets all the attention you need. Anything more just screams drama queen.
3. Love with complete and reckless abandon. For the most part people will respect you and treat you in kind. And if your romantic relationship fails, chances are you’ll have the sort of ex who will drive three hours to bring you groceries.
4. Don’t be that person who cannot be sympathetic to your friends in their times of need. No one plans to have tragedy strike, so just because it’s not convenient to help your friend through the death of a relative doesn’t mean you get to blow her off. You might have a full plate yourself, but its necessary and important to be there for your loved ones when the unthinkable happens. It’s okay to table the run of the mill drama for another day, but the big things demand your attention.
5. You can never have too many pearls on at one time. Death by diamonds and pearls? Yes. Very yes.
6. Every girl should own at least one necklace with a peace sign on it. Even if it doesn’t come out of the box often, there are occasions when a peace sign is the height of fashion. Peace on Earth is never not stylish.
7. Cook dinner for your boyfriend every so often. It’s an inexpensive way to show that you are willing to take the time to do something nice for him. Having dinner at home is a way to slow down the hectic pace of life and spend time together. I like to cook for my partner. I get a bottle of wine, cook something delicious and usually Italian (or beans and rice), and get a hazy buzz while I saunter through the kitchen. Make him do the dishes.
8. Try and keep something in the house to offer guests to eat or drink. And if no one stops by, solo pantless party time!
9. Lightly used clothing, once it’s worn its way out of your closet, should go to charity or a friend in need and not to Plato’s Closet or a consignment shop. Too many people can’t afford nice clothes. As the cliche goes, pass it on.
10. There’s a guy out there who will find you just as sexy laying in your obnoxiously large comfy clothes with a bag of chips on your lap and a Miller Highlife in your hand. If the one you’re with can’t handle that, then he’s not the right one for you. A partner is someone you can be comfortable with, someone you can be yourself around. If he can’t handle those flannel pants, how will he handle a fart while sleeping?