It's like Sex and the Suburbs and 30 Rock all rolled into one…
I’m on the dating circuit, which means I go out and meet people and sometimes (if I’m lucky) get to go on a first date. And then if I’m luckier, a second date. (Which sometimes happens despite rumors and trolling comments to the contrary.) There are however certain qualifications that must be met for me to even consider entering into a liaison with someone. Some of them make a bunch of sense and some of them are probably just really really shallow. I’ll make no bones about it: I can be a bit shallow and a bit judgemental.
I won’t date anyone whom I work with. To take this further, I don’t date people who work in the mall. When I come home, I want to hear about the trials and tribulations of another job, not the same one I’m in. And, as those who work in retail know, people tend to move from store to store as opportunities present themselves. A partner today could want the job that opened up in your store and that tends to get sticky with HR. Best not to deal with it.
I know my feminist friends who moonlight with the fat acceptance movement will shun me for a few days when I say this, but I’m not attracted to those who are of an unhealthy weight – over OR under. Perhaps this is because poundage has always been a struggle for me, but I work daily to eat right and keep a pleasing shape. I often binged when I was feeling stressed or depressed. If I failed a math test, well then, I ate the entire chocolate cake. So I suppose that if I make the effort to be fit, I want my partner to as well.
I don’t date men that don’t shower. I don’t date men that don’t brush their teeth. I don’t date men that don’t practice good hygiene. I’m the first girl to go gaga over a man with a beard (yes, I am that hipster girl), but it has got to be groomed and clean.
I don’t date men who keep their cell phone clipped to their belt. Sorry, but every guy I have who did has been a complete and total douchebag. It’s not fair, and I’m sorry. There have just been too many bad associations for me.
And I do judge men by how they dress. If I am putting forth effort to put on a nice dress and wear make-up, I want my date to put on a pair of clean jeans and a button up shirt.
Am I an elitist snob? Trolling comments seem to think so. But you know, sex is a physical thing. And physicality is about aesthetics. And if you don’t like the person’s personality or their appearance, it’s not going to work.